Words Are Not For Hurting

I've been able to avoid buying the books titled "Teeth Are Not For Biting", "Hands Are Not For Hitting", "Feet Are Not For Kicking" or any of the other books in the Best Behaviour series. But I guess there had to be something, right? So right now we are working on using kind (and helpful) words, a gentle voice, and talking nice. He's not necessarily saying hurtful things, but his vast vocabulary causes him some trouble occasionally.

My kid is bossy. He feels that he has to tell other kids what to do (or what NOT to do), and he doesn't always use kind and helpful words to do it. He uses his pleases and thanks you's as second nature MOST of the time, but there are times that he sounds so harsh when he wants something, I wonder if people look at me in disgust for not teaching my kid his manners.

He was going for a walk with Grandma the other day, which my future zoo keeper was very excited about because there are lots and lots of animals to see. After leaving the house where the yard is occupied by a big, old cow, my mom told him that they were going to keep walking and see some horses.

Z: "NO! NO HORSIES! I WANT TO SEE MORE COWS!" (I wish I could get his voice across... but it sounds as though he's scolding her with his bottom lip shoved out, but demanding at the same time, like he's really ticked off she would even think of taking him to see a horse when clearly he's enjoying the cows). It looks something like this:

G: "Excuse me? I don't like the way you are talking to me right now" (or something to that affect).

Z: [cocking his head to the side, bringing up his shoulder on the same side and looking up out of his big brown eyes] "Can we see more cows pwease" (in a sweet-as-can-be, I-could-never-even-think-of-asking-any-other-way voice) which looks more like this:

Its pretty funny (but don't tell him I said that) to see the Jekyll&Hyde reactions in such a short conversation, but I would love to know when that impulse to back talk with attitude is going to be replaced by the ability to know better and apply knowing better before the attitude gets out of his mouth.