Sweet dreams

I remember when Z was a few months old, when I was still spending hours watching him sleep, he would smile and laugh in his sleep. Oh, it was so angelic to see a baby sleep and smile at the same time. I remember wishing I could see what was making him smile, and falling more in love with him every second.

The past week or so, I've been waking up to sad baby sounds - whimpering, whining, a little cry... I get up to check on little man, and he's asleep, but must be dreaming about something, and again I find myself wishing I could see into those dreams, this time to know what was making him sad or scared. Usually, soft whispers and rubbing his back and head will pull him out of the dream and into a more peaceful slumber. Last night, though, he woke up several times and called for me. Once, he told me "I want hug, I want mommy" - melted and broke my heart all at once. Needless to say, we cuddled until he was asleep again and that too brought back memories of cuddling him to sleep as an infant and feeling so competent because he needed so little to be comforted and secure. And feeling so warmed by his comfort and security with me.

When he was a baby, though, he couldn't say "g'night, mommy, g'night" and "I yuh you" in return to my "Good night" and "I love you". Tonight, I hope he sleeps with comfort and security. Tonight, I made sure to tell him to have sweet dreams.

Sweet dreams, baby boy, sleep fast....